I bake the cake, then I take the cake and eat it too!

I am reading a book about the hippies and yippies and diggers and the whole incredible movement of the 50s 60s and 70s and I cant help but wonder what happened? when did it stop? Its not like the pigs successfully stomped all the hippie scum that refused to participate in capitalism. So why are there no more draft protests, why does everybody go to college and try for 100k a year minimum, why is everybody ok with the rules we must follow? I have a few great friends that helped to push me over the edge from frustrated citizen to anarchist and revolutionary. Then I have friends and my brother who are still frustrated citizens and I wonder how to help pull them over, Eric I understand he has children and probably wont drop out and fight the system with me. My brother however is very smart and doesn't judge me for being a dropout hell bent on bringing down the system, so I see potential. He is way beyond propaganda or rhetoric so propaganda is useless on him but rhetoric, even if he notices it, still achieves a result. I wonder if he will ever switch.

As for everyone else, where do I begin, I have spent much rhetoric and propaganda on Alex I have shown my anarchy tattoo many times, I have spewed my hate speech all over him, and all I get in return, he still thinks Obama is a socialist (How is that true or bad) and Palin is the Messiah. And he now tells me that I eventually will give up on this phoney baloney anarchy and do what I am told. WHY! WHY! WHY! AT LEAST HAVE THE COMMON FUCKING COURTESY TO PRETEND WE AGREE! He gave me a CD and the first song is about him, "Walking down the savage road." Tell me what is savage about the electrical engineering program you are going into. I made a revelation, everybody still thinks he or she rebels. How? Alcohol.

Anecdote. Seth, a person I new in high school, was the stereotype, drink beer, liquor on special occasions, party weekly, homecoming go to school drunk, weed twice three times maybe, prom... wasted. Clearly no regard for the authority. But when I planned the senior prank, a slip n' slide in front of the school, the administration shut it down, seth was the first one to throw his arms up (wearing aviators a cut off muscle shirt and tattered straw hat) its over they shut it down. At which I marched to the pricipal and vice principal stood directly in front of them, and barked, "Why can't we do this." As all the other rebelious teens had already forgotten the statement and drove home.

Where is the loyalty?
Where is the aversion to authority?
Where is the passion?
Where are the radicals? And I am not talking about the kind that shoot people, that is the problem not the solution.

I think thats where we lose it, is the passion, our generation lacks alllllllllllllllll passion. Watch a packers game from the 50s and compare the fans from them to current fans, where are the diehards, where are the priorities, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE. Its fucked up how little our generation has accomplished. The only place I see passion any more is in churches, and patriotism. That is only because being passionate about the majority is so fucking easy. Well fuck that!

If you are fed up then fight. FREEDOM IS FREE, TAKE IT. Having trouble staying passionate drop acid, I think acid is the main difference between their generations and ours. If the kids stay drunk but not high the only thoughts every thought are, "Lets get drunk" not, "Why..."

Somebody please fight this bullshit with me, and for those of you that already are I thank you and please know that I have your back.

FUCK, we need to fix this. 

This is with relevance to an argument over a facebook page called slap a slut day. Those in favor of the event said, "wow some people cant take a joke." and those opposed to it said, "slut shaming is not ok, and violence toward women is not ok." Then, "Its a fucking joke chill out."

This needs to be put into perspective, as many of you know middle eastern people receive much racism in the united states because of Al-Queada's actions in 2001

Now imagine a middle eastern person makes a crude and admittedly inappropriate joke like, "I've got a bomb in my bag here. HAHA." the response of many Americans would be something like, "GO BACK TO THAT FUCKING SANDBOX YOU BASTARDS CALL A HOME, MY BROTHERS COUSINS DUDE FRIENDS AUNTS SON IS OVER THERE FIGHTING FOR DERP PER FERP LER DERRRRRRP!" And so on.

But if a man you would profile as an abusive person makes a subtle joke like, "I would slap the shit out of her if she talked to me like that." The average response would be like, "...Mhm....Yeah..." When it should be something more like, "You worthless wife beating piece of shit, does it make you feel more powerful to assert your dominance over a woman. You think these fucking jokes are funny." (Meanwhile you have found a heavy blunt object and you are following him around striking his upper back and knee caps.) "You want an unfair fight I will give you an unfair fight."

See as a culture people are easily persuaded, if we can nurture a society where abusive people are shunned and hated (You don't really need to beat the guy with the baseball bat but make him feel that way and not just him, but women who advocate violence toward women. like slap a slut day.) Where people are ashamed and embarrassed because of what they did to someone, where eventually they beat themselves up for it more than we do. We can bring down the number of abused women in our society.

I just want to thank Egypt...

Not Egypt but the citizens, so Egypt...

For realizing that a government governs its people and when the people ignore the rules set forth, like say a curfew, the government is powerless...

And refusing to put up with shit...

And for realizing the governments fist, the army, is made up of the same people who are revolting. I want to emphasize this point because I read a book called Senseless Acts of Random Violence in which the people march on downtown New York and the army opens fire on them. I found that difficult to believe and Egypt has proved that for me.

Finally I want to thank them for inspiring their neighbors to reject the equally oppressive governments.

Its always nice when you look back at the things that America has feed to you and notice their sly underhanded tricks. I got a letter from Comcast that read on the back of the envelope, "STOP RELYING SOLELY ON YOUR CELL PHONE." This is a statement, not a question to get your mind contemplating alternatives that might be beneficial, or a suggestion that shows the pros of having a land line. It is a command to alter your feeble mind. I realize that most Americans are smart enough to make the decision themselves, it is just the fact that that style of advertising comes at you constantly and incessantly. The fact that they even make that attempt. Beyond that the information supplied as pros for having a land line is false or skewed. They list that it is difficult for 911 to locate you in an emergency when calling from a cell phone, however if you look through the settings on your cell phone you will find the location tab, under which you can select, "location on" or "911 only" with either one selected when you call 911 they are able to use the three nearest radio towers to locate you within I believe 100ft. Regardless this kind of "information" is everywhere, where it is in the best interest of a company to convince you that something isn't right.

Another example I remember is a deodorant commercial. It shows a beautiful woman in leather pants dancing at a club, dripping sweat and in slow motion. The male narrator lists adjectives for the beauty that comes from a woman's sweat, then the music stops and the narrator say, "But when a guy sweats... YOU STINK!" I was under the impression that the senses where linked to opinions, my opinion is not disgust when I smell myself, ever. I appreciate my unique smell and therefore choose to save my money and never buy deodorant. Imagine if a person came up to you and said, "Excuse me, but I can smell your dirty asshole from across the room would you mind using this deodorizing ass plug?" Then on top of your pimple cream, deodorant, axe spray, shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, body wash, and make-up you also have to buy a deodorizing ass plug. I get so frustrated over the fact that in advertising they are logically content with using common opinions as fact. That still to this day, you will never see a man pushing a vacuum in a commercial,  that the majority of commercial actors are skinny white females.

Being a 19 year old anarchist I see these trends and push them from my head rejecting them as propaganda, but it is scary to think how vulnerable my mind was when I was younger, how many ideas where instilled in me without my even noticing. I watched, "The Aristocat's" last week and saw some disgusting things i almost couldn't believe. I know that Disney has a bad reputation for some of the things they have done but I have never noticed it. First off the premise of the movie is how children NEED a father in their lives. No questions, because a mother just isn't good enough. Then the part that disgusted me most was one of the alley cats, clearly an asian character was, RETARDED. He sings, "Oh boi, ferras, rets rock the joint." and then, "Shanghai, hong kong, egg foo yung. HAHA. Fortune cookie always wrong. HAHA, thats a hard one." as he plays the piano with chop sticks and giant buck teeth. It doesn't take much to figure out what message Disney was trying to send to the children of the 70's.

I really just want to know when the malleable minds of our nations youth will become more valuable than the possible revenue derived from marketing information deep into their brains. Why do you think pink, purple, and yellow are girl colors, and red, blue and green are boy colors, definitely not because of the differences in our chromosomes. I met a person with a male child in pre-school kindergarten age and the school he goes to is very small, most of his class is female and play with female toys. Now he is asking his mother for toys like, Dora the Explorer, and kithcen set, and Polly pocket toys. Not because hes not MASCULINE (as if thats even real) but because to him, that is what is cool.

I know this blog went through alot, advertising, gender, and race, but really it is about how much control commercials have over everything and how disgusting it is.     

   I avoided writing about this for a very long time but it has to be done. So, I gave a hug to Callie C, she is the only person I have ever used the term, "hate" for. It was a very strange situation, the reason I hated her and the reason I hugged her so I will start from the beginning.

   When I moved to S (I have to leave out specific names because i don't want searches directed here) in eighth grade I joined the cross country team like four days after school started. I partly did it because I liked running but mostly because I new I had to force myself to join, so I could be in a social situation and met some people before I went insane. First was Devin in a few classes and cross country, second was Nekko, third was Mason C in cross country, who I later found out was running at my pace because he was two years younger than me not because we where the same speed. But we became friends and when Devin convinced me to wrestle as well, mason was the first person I wrestled. I got to know him a little bit and eventually met his brother Dan C, a seventh grader at the time. I was friends with them all the way until I went to high school. We didn't stop being friends but we did stop talking because we never saw each other.

   Onto Callie C, who I met in high school, I can distinctly remember the first time I ever saw Callie, I remember thinking, who took Masons eyes and Dans jaw and smashed them onto a womens face. Through cross country, wrestling, and track I got to know Callie. During my sophmore year I started dating Madi. Well while Devin died and madi had broken up with me, meanwhile Callie was also dealing with the loss of devin and was dealing with troubles from her dad stemming from the fact that her mom walked out on them many years ago. So Callie and I two equally and severely fucked up people began hanging out. It was a very strange situation, there was, I guess you could say, sexual tension. We both new how desperate each other was and we both kind of liked each other but for some reason refused to admit it. I don't know why she wouldn't admit it, but I know why I wouldn't. Because Callie is fucking weird. She was a wrestler, and a damn good one, and still is. Because of wrestling she has a crooked nose. And for two straight years I rolled around on the mat with her while she tried to cut weight. She fucking wreaked. But that hardly affected they way she smelled off the mat except that her dads truck smelled like shit and thats where we spent lots of our time. I chose to not grow a pair and ask her out for these reasons.

The guys would have made fun of me (I realize now this would not have been true anyway)
I was scarred it was rebound from madi
I was scarred it was for wrong reasons
I convinced myself she was gross

But really I liked her and wanted to go out with her. Finally, one night we hung out and did nitrous and got really really drunk, we made out and agreed on being friends with benefits, but where way to drunk to accomplish anything that night. The very next day we got into an argument in which she told me, "I don't need you to fight my battles for me." I was livid. It was all because of he said she said stupid shit where I was the middle man between callie and madi. When it ended, rather than apologizing and working it out I vowed to never speak to her again. Which we mostly managed to do minus a few spats of nothing. I told people for a while I hated her for that, but really I hated myself because I decided we should be friends with benefits so I could get laid with out the holding hands and peer ridicule of dating callie. When I actually wanted to date her.

Well callie and I both but completely separately decided to leave S forever, callie in 2008 when she graduated, and me in 2009 when i graduated. However I only moved forty minutes away because madi and I started dating again and that is where she was going to school. Callie, however, sick of her dads ridicule moved five states away. This made her dad even more detached from her younger brothers Dan and Mason. Dan graduated earlier in 2010 with plans to leave for college and never return to his dads blankness toward everything. This was going to leave Mason completely alone with his father. What I learned from Dan while I was in school with him was that for a few weeks on week days Dan and mason would get up and go to school then before they got home their dad would wake up and go to work, dan and mason would come home make dinner, do homework, do what they needed and go to bed then their dad would come home from work. So for days at a time they would not see the only parent in the house.

   All of this put together pushed Mason over the edge and in June he committed suicide. At his funereal I went to give Callie a hug and she lunged forward and gave me a huge hug that we held for like five seconds. Then I left and we haven't talked since.